Just dropping in to tell you about my latest run last night and a quick recap of my week. It
|Made it to the start line!|
She wasn't sick, apart from being 90 and general old people's stuff, she was as healthy as could be. She was switched on, independent, lived by herself, only stopped driving 6 months ago, she had an iPad, was heavily into politics and still went to politics meetings. She was rosy cheeked and full of health. So none of us were expecting it. It's of course been a really sad week.
It hasn't hit me yet, there's a bit of complicated stuff involved so I've been focusing on that stuff and conveniently not thinking about the fact that I've lost my beloved Nanna. I have however had a few 'spilt milk' moments - when tiny little things, things that aren't big deals have made me tears-in-my-eyes-stressed.
The night after Nanna died, I noticed the top of my Cinderella bracelet that Mish gave me for my birthday had come off! My 1 year old niece loves it and her baby fingernail flicked it off
|Almost didn't make it!|
The day before Nanna passed away, I had lost my favourite ring that hadn't left my finger in 9 years. I'm not very materialistic these days, I was when I was younger, but I guess you grow up and realise what's important. In saying that, I felt a bit upset as it's one of my most sentimental and valuable possessions - and it's a part of me - I have worn it for 9 years. It may turn up, but not yet.
So when I lost the Cinderella face of my Mish bracelet, well, this was almost the last straw. Perspective lost, I felt hot all over and was on a mission. I had to find it! You would have thought I'd lost the top of my Nanna's bracelet, or something like that, the way I started manically combing the ground for it. But it was just the final straw. Of all places, I lost it on my parents acreage, at night. (!) Miraculously, I found it. This tiny, white sticker with Cinderella's face
|Rushing to the start line|
Last night was one of my planned runs - the Mooloolaba Twilight 5km run. As much as I've planned to do it all year, it wasn't till I was physically at the start line and wearing my running bib that I knew I would make it. It was one of those runs that almost didn't happen. After this week I didn't know what my plans would be. I have to go to Sydney for the funeral, and at one point I thought I would have to travel for that on Friday night. Then I was going to have to go to Sydney for work during the day. Both Sydney trips were changed, so then I thought I could make the run ok. In saying that, it's hard to get to a run event that is on after work, when work is 100km away! But I was really determined. Apart from it being on 'my list', I just felt it would be good for me to do and would pep me up a bit after this week.
Even on the way there, I didn't know if I would make it. I had the most stressful day at work
|Cathy and Sarah pinning my bib on me!|
I have pretty amazing friends though, and thanks to Rachel, Cathy and Sarah, I made it up the coast, somehow found a park, then rushed to the start line. Cathy and Sarah had gone and registered me, met me and pinned my bib on me. I was pretty stressed! But they made it so easy for me, pinned it on, ordered me to stretch, and suddenly I was in the start chute, with a few minutes to spare. Where there's a will, there's a way...
As the run began, I started having breathing anxiety...just slightly, but it's awful all the same. I calmed myself down and started chugging up the hill. The reason I love this run is the atmosphere. I did it last year and people line pretty much the entire course, cheering for everyone. Mountains of little kids put their hands out to high 5 you, it's at twilight, along the ocean, and it's just such a buzzing atmosphere - I just love it.
About 1km in, I bumped into a fellow 30+er, Christie! Which was great and we ran the rest of it together. Soon after we met though, I developed what I think was an awful stitch. I'd never had one so bad - it was sharp and shooting and it got to the point where I thought I'd actually have to stop. I ended up running with my upper body on a 45 degree angle, just trying to relieve it.
Christie asked if I wanted to stop and I said "I'm pretty stubborn" ;) so stubborn-ness got me through it, and I kept running. I didn't worry about speed, I just wanted to finish it. I just did the best I could, with hills in between!
As soon as I went over the line, Sarah handed me the most beautiful bunch of flowers that I've ever seen. There was a card - it was from my 12WBT friend, Emily. She lives in NSW, and had ordered them from a florist local to where my run was, and organised for Cathy and Sarah to pick them up and give them to me at the finish line! It was to say she was thinking of me and my family.
Yeah I know, I have no words either. Just one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever done for me. The thoughtfulness behind this just blows me away. I get flowers when I am on stage, but I have never been handed flowers at a run finish line before! See, I told you, I have the most amazing friends!
Last night actually cheered me up quite a bit. After the run we went and had amazing Thai
|Christie and I|
One positive thing from the week is, despite what happened, I have pulled myself back up on the weight loss wagon. I am completely disorganised right now and need to change that, but I have managed to eat and train pretty well regardless....and after interim unofficial weigh ins, the scales are looking great.
Next week is going to be tough - Nanna's funeral is on Tuesday. There's so much on my mind and I can't stop thinking. All I know is that I am going to hug my other grandmother
(and grandfather) who are now left, even tighter when I see them on Tuesday. :(
So much is on my mind but something I realised this week is that you just have to do the best you can. Like that quote - do the best you can do, where you are, with what you can. That's all we can ever do xx
|The most beautiful flowers I've ever been given|